Shut up and sleep with me
by Happymood
Summary: Oneshot. Harry can't stop singing. Draco is annoyed. Highly annoyed. Pretty pointless but it's funny! Warning: DMHP R


**AN: This is extremely pointless and it's not to be taken very seriously. The song that obviously doesn't belong to me is 'Shut up and sleep with me' by, I think, Sin with Sebastian (1995). They are in their Sixth Year here. I hope you'll all enjoy it! Please read and review! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. **

**Sorry for grammatical/lexical/both errors. English is not my first language and I suck at grammar. **

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Even if Severus Snape was the most brilliant professor in all of Hogwarts I have to admit there is nothing worse than two hours of Potions (regardless how much I _love_ the subject) first thing Monday morning. I yawned loudly, getting a nasty glare from said professor. Really, when Severus would understand that no one should wake up a Malfoy so early in the morning! No one! No one, you understand!

Second nastier glare. Figures… I guess I should stop exclaiming 'No one!' and point to the ceiling then. Oh, well... Snape just shrugged to me, good for him.

'Must be one of those days, again…' Snape though eyeing Draco yawning and yawning over and over again.

Back to me! Now… where are those Gryffindorks, I need some fun, goddamnit! I love to say the word 'damn'. It's funny. Damn, damn, damn, damn…

The thing I hate the most is yawning: I think it makes me look ridiculous. Yawn. Damned whoever invented yawning! My father will take care of you, whoever you are! Yawn. Damn.

"Very well, Mr. Potter. I see you finally decided to join us…" Snape said, smirking slightly. I smirk too as Potter struggled to find an excuse.

"I…" Potter tried to say but Snape silenced him.

"I don't care what you're going to say. Ten points from Gryffindor. Now sit down…" Snape said. I smirked as Potter turned red to the face. Could have taken more points from those red and gold loving people though. Is Snape starting to have a soft spot for…?

"Potter…" Snape suddenly said as Potter made to sit next to the Weasel. "Not there…" Good, make him sit with someone he loathes! And imagine I though you were going to go easy with him today. Dear, dear Snape… "Sit with Mr. Malfoy…"

Damn.

"But…!" Potter started. Yes, Potter! Tell him he's being insensible! What did _I_ do wrong this time! I don't want to sit with you, stupid Boy-who-just-can't-die!

"You hear me and now stop disturbing the class with your mumblings or I'll have to give you a detention…" Snape said and turned around to the blackboard.

Damn. Must be the 'no one' thing I did before. I hate you, Sev, I really really hate you…

Potter mumbled something along those lines too as he sat beside me, as far as possible from me as he could. I smirked at him. I really love smirking. He shot a dirty look at me, I smirked even more.

"What, Potter? Didn't sleep well enough? Did your stupid dead godfather disturb your sleep again?" Potter turned sharply to me but my hopes of getting him in detention were ruined as Snape started talking again:

"Turn to page 354. You have two hours full to complete the potion…"

Potter said something to himself and opened his book. I did the same and checked the potion described. Seems pretty easy. I shot a glance at Potter; he seemed to think the same thing. He must be encouraged I'm his potion partner. I don't think he would think the potion would be easy if I wasn't here. He's too stupid… well, Crabbe and Goyle are stupider but _that_ is beside the point.

"Shut up and sleep with me…"

Wait… what-was-that?!?

"Shut up and sleep with me…"

Why is Potter telling me this! I turned slowly, very slowly, mind you, to him. He seemed to be cutting those stupid horned beetles. Here he goes again…

"Come on and sleep with me…"

"What did you say?" I didn't squeal. Malfoys don't squeal. Potter stops cutting and looks at me, an eyebrow raised. What? He doesn't remember what his perverted and sick mind asked me? Is he that stupid!

"I didn't talk to you!" Potter exclaims. I was terrified now…

"Yes, you did! You, you perverted sicko! You told me to come and sleep with you!"

"What?" he stares at me as if I was the crazy one and then… Wait. Why is he laughing so hard now?

"You thought…" laughs some more. He is crazy. I never believed those rumors before but now I do. He is totally out of his mind! I watch horrified as he looks at me and laughs some more.

"What's so funny?" I demand. He laughs. Again. This is getting irritating.

"You are funny! That was a song I'm stuck with since breakfast! You never heard of it?" he dries a fake tear with his index finger. A song, huh? Strangely, I feel worse.

"No, genius..." I reply annoyed and turn again to the potion we're making.

"Shut up and sleep with me…" he whispers, I can still see his amused eyes. That doesn't helps. It makes me want to punch him or something… "I should have known…" he says then, "It's a muggle song. It's obvious you never heard it before, Malfoy…" he chuckles.

"Muggles are perverted…" it's my only reply and continued stirring the potion as I was going to do before that stupid Scarhead alarmed me with that stupid _mudblood_ song. I hear him chuckling and I glance to see him start cutting those beetles again.

"No, they're not…" Harry spat back then he sings "Shut up and sleep with me…".

"Stop it…" I said through gritted teeth.

"You can't tell me to stop singing, Ferret face…" Potter says but I still hear the amusement in his voice. He's enjoying this! Damn, I can't let him!

"I didn't know you were so much of a prude!" ha says. He was going to laugh again, I know it!

"Just stop it…" I demand. "And by the way who's called the 'Sex God' here? You or me?" I smirk. He snorts.

"Don't you know I am one of those persons who need to see something to believe it?" he is clearly amused. And sick. Just sick. I stare at him for a moment then I turn around, trying with all my might not to blush (because Malfoys don't blush, damnit!) and continued stirring.

"You wish…" I word back.

"Stop bickering and work!" Snape exclaimed. A book crushed down onto our –my- table. Potter just adds his crushed beetles in the potion. He is smiling.

And humming that song.

God, I hate him…

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Every second I hate him more and more. Will it be _my fault_ if I kill him now? Because everytime I'm somewhere near him in class (something that happens rarely, but still… I think he does it on purpose now. Sitting behind me. I'm sure of it…) or walk without a care in the world, with my gorgeous little smirk on my amazing face, in the corridors _he _is _there _singing that goddamned song! That song is so irritating! Oh, and Scarface is too.

"Shut up and sleep with me!"

Here he goes again. Even my Slytherin friends started to sing it when I'm near. Yes, a famous Malfoy glare and they stop but Potter… Potter is… unstoppable! A glare and he laughs! Doesn't he know he must not laugh in my presence?!

"Shut up and sleep with me…" he sings loud enough so I could hear him. Always the discreet one, really…

A glare at him. He smirks.

"I love your body

Not so much I like your mind

In fact you're boring

Pretend not being of my kind

You keep on talking of some girl that I don't know

When will you shut up and when will we go…"

"You were young, you're free, why don't you sleep with _him_?" suddenly Ginny Weasley, who just happens to pass in that precise moment, started to sing. Oh, the Weaslesett is in this too?! She winks at me and continues walking. I stare at her as she started giggling with her stupid Gryffindork friends. Potter and company follow her, singing his favourite part:

"Shut up and sleep with me. Come on why don't you sleep with me…"

He is ridiculous. The smirk from my face vanishes. I hate Harry Potter. Just then Pansy takes my arm and says:

"I don't know why you take it so personally, Draco dear. It's just a song and beside Potter is the one making a fool of himself not you!"

I have to admit she's right. Not that I will tell her that, of course.

"Don't you find the song just so frustrating?" I exclaim; she nods then grins.

"Maybe it's Potter the frustrated one here…" and walked away to a class we don't have together. I stop and stare at her. What did she mean? Okay, the world is going crazy. I know.

------

There is one thing I like to do when something annoy me much. I don't know why but it calms me down. I love making lists. Right now I'm working on three of them…

First one. Always there, always ready to be filled in: _The priorities of Draco Malfoy _

_1) Always be perfect_

_2) Have the perfect hair, the perfect nails and everything_

_3) Top grades_

_4) Annoy Sev_

_5) Insult Potter_

_6) Shave (legs included) _

_7) Kick Goyle when bored_

_8) Ask my father to have that stupid torture room (for Potter) _

_9)…_

There are so many things in that list I don't even remember. 30 priorities. Yup! And still not finished. Okay, onto the next one: _Things I love_. I munch on my pencil and read the things I wrote till that moment.

_1) Make a fool of Potter and his friends (favourite victim, next comes the Weasel) _

_2) Smirking_

_3) Munch pencils _

I just realized I love to do that. My mother never let me do it. She would always mumble something about teeth… who understands their own mother is a genius…

I reread the list. Not much, really. I guess there's not a lot I love doing at this moment…

I leave the first list and take the second one: _Things I hate. _That's easy. I start writing the first thing that comes to my mind:

_1) Harry Potter_

_2) That stupid song_

_3) Did I write Harry Potter? Okay scratch that it doesn't matter…_

_4) Harry Potter_

"I didn't know you shaved your legs, Malfoy…"

I should have guessed: Harry sodding Potter. WHAT? I turn around quickly and take the list from those filthy mudblood's hands! He laughs and… laughs and then laughs some more.

"That's not me, you idiot!" I shout, red in the face. He laughs. A lot. "It's Pansy! She needs to shave her legs. I don't know how but she always forgets it…" I manage to say it with the most serious face I could make. Good Draco… I smirk.

"Yes, right…" Potter says, "And if that's so why it said '_The priorities of Draco Malfoy' _on it?" and laughs.

"Helping Pansy is one of my top priorities…" I spat, "Now, piss off or… I'll turn you into a chicken or something…" and sit down on my chair again. I'll never write my list in the library again!

"A chicken, huh? How terrifying…" and laughing he walks away.

"For your information you _should_ be terrified! Chickens get eaten, you know!" I shout at him. He laughs. I glare at him and take the third list (_Things I hate) _in my hands again.

_5) Harry Potter sneaking__ up on me_

_6) Harry Potter _

_7) Harry Potter …_

------

Enough…

That song is A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G.

"Shut up

and sleep with me

Come on uh huh and sleep with me

Shut up

and sleep with me

Come on why don't you sleep with me

Shut up

and sleep with me

Come on uh huh and sleep with me…"

Enough…

Why the song stuck in my own head now it's a really good question…

"I don't understand why he likes it so much, it's repetitive and… and just plain annoying…" I say. Blaise nods and continues writing McGonagall's notes. "It's not like he has a bad voice or something, you know? It's… it's the song! I hate the song… well, I hate Potter too but… no but. I hate Potter, that's all…" Blaise just nods. I stare at him. "Are you listening to me?"

"Nope, I'm listening to McGonagall. A thing, by the way, you have to do too…" he says.

"I'm listening!" I start. Such a friend!

"Oh, yeah? You were staring at Potter's back since lesson started, humming the song you claim to hate so much to yourself while mumbling how much you hate the Golden Boy over and over again. Face it! You are not listening…"

"I am too…" I cry. He smirks at me. Another thing I have to add to the list of _Things I hate_: copying me.

"Oh, yeah? Prove it!" he questions, "What is she talking about?"

"Err… monkeys?"

He enquires his eyebrows. Wrong answer.

"Err… Harry Potter then?" I try. He rolls his eyes and starts writing again.

"You are obsessed with him! Do something if you want to make him stop!"

"Fine! I will!" and cross my arms in resolution. Just then Potter turns around, mouths the words of the song and winks. I really truly hate him. I do.

------

"I've had enough, Potter!" I shout grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and slamming him onto the wall. He just smirks.

"Of what? I didn't do anything…" and then starts: "Shut up and sleep with me…"

"Fine! I will! Meet me tonight at the astronomy tower. Ten sharp…" I whisper to his ear. He looks at me, clearly amused, but doesn't say a thing. I let him go. "And don't be late!" and with that I made my way to the Slytherin Common Room.

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The next day Harry Potter had stopped singing the song at last. No one dared to ask why but the stupid, dreamy smile on his face and Draco Malfoy's wide smirk gave it all away.

**The end! **


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